Not careless, quick and unlucky.

Danang silk cargo pants[Da Nang silk pants + T by Alexander Wang LS pocket tee + Dannijo pendant.]

For someone with a sometimes crippling proclivity toward perfectionism, I am a total mess. I didn’t really know to classify this anywhere other than in the “bad luck” category until I met Rob, who pointed out that when it comes to your everyday little things, I don’t ever seem to think before I move. More so, even after having this pointed out, I haven’t learned my lesson.

Last night I got home from work and Rob goes, “There something you want to tell me?” I honestly couldn’t think of anything. Had I left the avocado pit in the disposal again? Did I let that protein shake dry on the spoon again?

Then I looked over at the brand new lucite coffee table, and where I’d tried to put a coaster down to hide the giant wax spill I made 4 hours earlier. Doomsday.

“You didn’t, say, do that thing where you whip the candle around to try and spill wax onto the wick instead of blowing it out like a normal person, did you?” he gently suggested, while trying not to laugh. “That thing we talked about? Swisha, swisha? On the new coffee table? And all over the books?”

I looked at the candle before doing this, I did. I could have just blown it out. But it’s mug-shaped. I couldn’t help myself. Wax… everywhere.

Carey on stairs prt

[Work from home uniform, guys. Do they still sell Da Nang pants? Does anyone still buy them?]

I don’t blow on hot things before eating or drinking them. Ever. I don’t walk slowly with full cups. I never lean over the plate to take a bite. I clip my shoulder on door frames on the reg. I drop the pizza flat on its face inside the oven. I wipe my hands on my shirt and pants when they’re dirty, instead of using a napkin. I take shoes off without unlacing them and feel ankle tendons ripping. Forcing a burp then barfing in my mouth. The other day, I started kicking snow off some tulip sprouts (thinking I was helping) and murdered them all before Rob had a chance to go, “Whoa, easy pumpkin!” It goes on. And some are signature moves.

Quick & Unlucky—a new film about people who always cover their food in salt because they don’t check to see if the top is on the shaker first.

I don’t think it’s carelessness. But I wouldn’t put it past me. I more think it’s a shortcut mechanism that’s been flooded somewhere along the line by a long stretch of good luck. I’m always rushed.

In the wise words of Nigel, the turncoat with the golden curls in Top Secret!, said from within the backside of the cow suit: “What’s the hurry?! Why are we always in such a bloody rush?”

See I’m not actually really going anywhere with this, I just have always wanted to post that video here.
You’re welcome!

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3 Responses to “Not careless, quick and unlucky.”

  1. Jenn
    March 7, 2014 at 6:12 pm #

    I’m sorry, I laughed. Especially the forced burp part. I’m also glad I’m not the only one who runs into doorjambs on the regular. When I worked retail I would have a permanent bruise because I’d be tearing around the store and I’d catch my shoulder on the clothing racks. Constantly. I don’t think it’s carelessness either. For me it’s my mind is always one step ahead of my body so my physical self is pretty much on autopilot.

    • Corks and Caftans
      March 8, 2014 at 10:57 am #

      you were supposed to laugh! and I think you hit it on the head–in a more positive light. Brain is definitely a few yards ahead of my body. I am usually moving so quickly, an average doorjamb clip will send me into a solid 270-degree spin. I always just shake my head.

  2. March 14, 2014 at 5:29 pm #

    Haha, this post made me laugh. I can completely relate. I tend to react before I’ve really had time to think, which has caused a few preventable bruises and broken bones.

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